1. Begin with the relatives most likely to answer.
Do not start by asking the entire family at once. Pick the aunt who knows the holiday dishes, the cousin who keeps old photos, or the sibling who can text the person with the handwritten card. A few good replies make the project feel real.
2. Ask for one recipe, not every recipe.
A broad request sounds like homework. A specific request feels doable: one casserole, one pie, one sauce, one weeknight meal everyone remembers. Once someone sends the first recipe, it is much easier to ask for another.
3. Ask for the story in the same message.
Family cookbooks work because the memory sits beside the method. Ask who made the dish, when it showed up, what changed over time, and whether there is a photo of the original card or finished dish.
4. Give non-technical relatives a simple path.
Some relatives will send a typed recipe, some will send a blurry photo, and some will call you with measurements from memory. Keep the collection path flexible and clean the details later.
5. Review and organize after recipes arrive.
Do not try to perfect every recipe before collecting the next one. Gather the first batch, then sort chapters, standardize names, and ask follow-up questions only where something is missing.